12 People Pleasing Things

So my friend posted this list the other day on his Facebook: 9 things about himself. I was intrigued, as I’ve known him forever and a day and I’ve never seen him do something like that. So I read it. His final item was a coming out. I automatically clicked “like” because I’m very happy that’s he’s comfortable with who he is, and is willing to share that part of him with the world.

I’m less happy because I neglected to read the bit that said “push like if you want me to give you a number so you can share things about yourself!” and before I could rescind my like I had a message from him.

“Megan, I miss you!  Your number is 12.” I tried to weasel out of it.   

“Haha, I totally didn’t see that part of the deal until after I liked your status.”

“Well, now you just got roped into doing it.” And because I’m a people pleaser, I’m doing it. Not as a status, because I don’t want to force any other poor unsuspecting folk into revealing between 1 and 28,475,345 things about themselves for liking a post—Aaron—but as a blog post.  Because I’ve been looking for inspiration anyway.

1. On Monday, I was tired. I had stayed up far too late on Saturday and on Sunday.  Far. Too. Late.  Even for me. Which is not news to any of you; but it’s going to be one of my things because I do that.
2. I was so tired, in fact, that during my Monday afternoon nap, I woke up realizing that I had drooled on my hand. But, my friends—this is not the end of that story. As I floated to the edge of consciousness and registered drool I thought “Ew. This needs to be gone.” I wiped the drool on my cheek, snuggled back into the cushions into a slightly less upright position, put my hand back under my face and went back to sleep.
3.  To preface this item, I’ll need you to know that 1.Mary makes awesome cranberry orange bread. 2.Mary was watching the Hobbit. 3.Mary went to the store to buy eggs for her cranberry orange bread briefly after I fell asleep.  Understood?  Good.  During another portion of this nap (I can’t really tell you whether it was before or after the drool.) I awoke suddenly to a man’s voice calling out “Hello? Is anybody home?” I jerked awake. I glanced over the kitchen, trying to chase the sleep from my heavy limbs. My heart was racing. Whatwasthatwhowasthatwhereishe? There’s a strange man in my house. DID I FORGET TO LOCK THE FRONT DOOR?   WHERE IS MARY!? DID SHE LEAVE ME ALL ALONE AND ASLEEP AND NOT LOCK THE FRONT DOOR!? WHAT IF I DIE!? I blearily glanced around and realized that Bilbo was looking for the dwarves. Gandalf and the dwarves had left him in the night. My heart calmed, I fell back onto the couch.  I blessed my Hobbit knowledge and promptly fell back asleep
4. I am not going to be able to keep up the pattern of creating progressively longer “things” for each number listed here.
5. One of the things in this world that makes me happiest is food. In fact, the Boy once told me the happiest he had ever seen me was sitting across from him eating Wendy’s chicken nuggets.   And let’s be honest—there are a lot of tastier things than chicken nuggets.   
6. I have a happy dance. When I eat food I really, really, really like with people that I really, really, really like.  I do this little dance thing.  It’s more like a bob back and forth.  It’s a little bit embarrassing. I obtained the nickname “Jiglet” for a while because of it. Or maybe “Giglet.” I’ve never ben sure how Amy J spells that in her head. Picture awkward.  Now picture delight. Personify delighted awkward in your head. Add a little bit of shameless to that delighted personified awkward. Are you picturing it? Now make it dance. Great.  That’s me doing my happy dance.
7. I have an innate ability to remember where foodstuffs are. I went to a fair a while back, and each time the Boy said “Where can we find chocolate covered cheesecake?”  I was like “Oh.  It’s over there.  Just to the left of that.  And around this.” “Turkey Legs?”  “Other side of the fairgrounds.”  “Soup?”  “Back there.  To the right.  Next to the place with frozen bananas.”  But, when trying to find the very, very, very large field used for the jousting—I was lost.  “Uhm.  Wasn’t that somewhere around the swords?  I don’t know how to get there.”  Priorities.
8. I am an ambivert. I think most people are ambiverts, but still. Sometimes I’m extroverted and sometimes I’m introverted. There are some social situations in which I thrive. The people around me give me energy, and I could hang out and talk for what feels like forever. The more interaction, the more energy I get. Other times, I feel sapped by people. I get a little bit sleepy, and a little bit tired. I run out of energy and just want to curl up on a couch somewhere—read a book, stay in bed until noon, watch a movie.
9. I think that this list is getting too long.
10. I think the second and third items are the best items, and the rest of this list could be skipped.
11. I have an embarrassing number of selfies on my phone.  It makes me wonder about myself.
12.  I like to take walks and talk to strangers. Around ponds. Around neighborhoods. Up streets. Down streets. In DC. I have met a lot of interesting people on walks. A while back, I met a lady who—within ten minutes—told me about a wine mark in the shape of a kiss on her back. She was also writing a letter to the editor of the Washington post concerning something to do with education.

There we have it folks.  More information than you ever needed to have about me. You could always write me a list of four things about yourself.  Y’know, not because you liked this and I gave you a number or anything.  Just because.

Migraine

I knew it was coming yesterday.  It wasn't there yet, but hiding just behind my temples I could feeling a distant throb.  A threat. Little spots floated across my vision for the past few days. I hoped I was wrong. Each time someone offered me a treat of some sort I thought "Yuck." And even the blonde brownie, that I know was delicious, and tasted delicious--didn't taste good. It tasted like another step closer to this. 

The throbbing pain in the center of my forehead, radiating up my head, out and down my temples and through the back of my neck.  My stomach is roiling, and complaining. I can't decide if I should feed it, or if eating might make me throw up. I have plans tonight. I'm supposed to go to a party.  Should I go?  I hate letting this get in the way of my life.  It happens often enough, and I'm going to be in pain no matter where I am.

Or maybe, i should stay home.  I can go lie on the couch and hope beyond hope that the headache goes away. Maybe I'll be able to fall asleep. I suppose I could call someone to come and keep me company.  But it's Saturday night.  That's lame.  

And it's just the beginning.  I know it's going to get worse before it's over.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.  It'll probably be gone tomorrow.  

Charlie Horse, Clouds, and Clay

I prayed the other night night that I would wake up in a more timely fashion the next morning.  You know, wake up before the alarm, or only push the snooze once.  Nothing too extreme just a “Get the day started off on the right foot,” rather than the-- “RINSE. PANTS. TEETH.  SHIRT.  UNDERWEAR!?  OHYEAH. THAT.  THEN PANTS.  THEN SHIRT.” Thing I do before heading out the--“SHOES!?  KEYS!?  AGHK!” door. 

I vaguely recall being a little bit awake and wondering if I should get out of bed, go on a run, read my scriptures--my alarm went off and I lazily reached over and pushed “Snooze” just once can’t hurt, right?  And then boom.  Charlie Horse. I zipped out of bed, and jumped over the mess of blankets lying on the floor.  “Ah!  Ah! Ah!”  7:03. God answered my prayer. I was up before the second snooze.  I’m not sure if I’m grateful or angry yet.  But I’m pretty sure He has a sense of humor.  Because, well….Rude. 

I just really wanted to tell that story.  It doesn’t have any particular application to this post, and I actually don’t know what I’m going to write this post about. A large part of the reason I’m writing this is that last time I Skyped my family my dad turned to me at the very end and said “You know your rambles thing?” and I distantly thought…which one?  I ramble all the time.  What did I ramble about this time? Was it a special ramble? My Skype face showed my obvious confusion. “You know.  Your rambles.  Meggers, something.” 

                  “Oh!  Yeah!  The Rambles of Meggers?  My blog.”

                  “That.  You haven’t written in it in a long time.  You should update it.”

                  “….Okay. I will!”  So I did.  And this is it.

One of my summer adventures.  We hiked to a beach.  It had jellyfish.  But it also had clay!  

I also liked the clouds.  

Because I Take Myself Too Seriously

I felt the need to post something completely NOT serious.  Like this picture.  Of me curled up in the hall.  Flossing.

Yes, flossing.

No, I'm not eating-- I'm flossing.  In the hall.  I don't always get me.  That's Kristy in the background.  I don't think she liked the ground as much as I did.

Friends are Just the Bees Knees

Sometimes, friends are great. Okay, so friends are always great. But sometimes friends are really great. Over the past couple of days I’ve been in touch with some friends that I haven’t talked to for a while, and it was so nice to catch up. It’s nice to hear their hopes, their fears, their dreams, their shallow likes and dislikes. They help me to realize and redefine mine. 

Just yesterday I was sitting on a rock step, in a new skirt that was a size I am ashamed to admit that I own and need—feeling grumpy and negative about life, about myself—about everything; trying to figure out what I want and where I’m going with my life.  I was on that stair, in the sunshine because an old friend was visiting from out of town and when she asked “How do you like it here” and before I realized it “I love it” slipped out of my mouth.

I amazed myself as I continued to expound how happy I am in Washington D.C. I have wonderful friends here. I have wonderful roommates here. I love the people I work with. I can tolerate the work that I do. I have a calling that pretty much makes it my prerogative to say “HI!” to strangers at church, which leads me to do the same thing outside of church. Just last week I had the most fascinating conversation with a British man walking along Rock Creek Parkway away from the Cherry Blossoms. He ended up being a political reporter at the BBC, and was covering America’s reaction to Margaret Thatcher’s death. I mean, COOL.

Yesterday, I got a phone call from a concerned Tara. “Hey, sweetie.  I just wanted to call and see if you’re okay.” David called and recited a similar message. Amy texted me out of nowhere for no particular reason. Josiah called and made a hilariously inappropriate observation.  Susan stayed up to chat with me despite sleep calling, and Hannah talked to me in the middle of the night. My brother returned my phone call, and when I didn’t pick up texted me “Hey I had a few seconds, and I just wanted to tell you that I love you.”  I mean c’mon.  You can’t really ask for a better younger brother than that.

I’ve recently been trying to figure out how the Lord communicates with me, and while talking to Hannah last night I realized that people are a powerful part of that.  Through the love and presence of people in my life, and the times that they show up at just the right time, in just the right place, for not particular reason—I feel God’s love. For the people who love me in the good times and in the bed, when I’m a booger-snot, and when I’m happy—there is divine guidance.  Charity is the pure love of Christ, and the first and second greatest commandments are love thy Lord and Love thy neighbor.

Today, I am so grateful for the love of both.  And so grateful that the Lord loves me enough to show His love to me through my friends. 

Sometimes, it seems like life is hard. Sometimes it seems like life is always hard. Sometimes it seems like life will always be hard. But the long and the short of it is for me, right now, is…. So?  I’ve been sharing two quotes with pretty much everybody and their dog lately, and so let’s see if I can get it out to a few more everybodys. 

                  “Pain stayed so long, I said to him today,

“I will not have you with me any more,”

I stamped my foot and said, “Be on your way.”

 And paused there, startled at the look he wore.

“I, who have been your friend,” he said to me;

 “I, who have been your teacher—all you know

Of understanding love, of sympathy

 And patience I have taught you. Shall I go?”

  ~ Anonymous

I can’t say I’m grateful for pain, right now. I can’t say I’ll be grateful for pain in the future. But I am grateful for the person that pain, once recovered from—has made me. I’m grateful for the ability to feel pain, and the happiness that fully experiencing that pain allows me to attain. So while I’m not grateful for pain, I am grateful for what it does to me. 

“There are many trails in life which do not seem to come form unwisdom or folly; they are silver arrows shot from the bow of God, and fixed inextricably in the quivering heart—they are meant to be borne—they were not meant, like snow or water, to melt as soon as they strike; but the moment an ill can be patiently born it is disarmed of its poison, though not of its pain.” 

                  ~Henry Ward Beecher

I kind of loathe writing serious blog posts, but I seem to want to write this one—So I’m going to end this one by telling you I mean every word of what I said above.  And also tell you I’mma go put on a pretty dress, do my hair, put on makeup, and go to a party.

Because that’s how I roll. 

~Meggers

(SERIOUSLY. Somebody else I love and don't normally talk to just randomly texted me.  So much freakin' love.)  

42 Bullet Points I'm Grateful For

Writing a blog post of thanks is a cliché thing to do for Thanksgiving… but I really like cliché things, so I’mma gonna write one. These 42 (and a half) bullet points don't represent anything specific. It's just the number of bullet points I wrote before I decided that I wanted to go to bed. 

I’m thankful for:

•  My family, and my relationships with each family member. My sister recently got FaceTime, and I get to carry Amy J around my apartment on my phone talking to her. Or sit late at night and Skype her on my phone. My brother called me this week just to chat. And that pretty much made my week. My Dad and I exchange photos each day (which will be another blog post, sometime). My mom and I chat on the phone regularly
• My mom tells me where she’s going hiking so if they don’t show up I can tell people where to search for them so they hopefully don’t die.
• My mom also tells me when they arrive safely back in civilization so I don’t worry they died.
• Good health, and good health insurance. I went to the emergency room twice within two weeks this past summer, and the only reason I’m not A. Dead or B. Destitute is because of good doctors, and good health insurance. 
• I’m REALLY grateful for good health, good health insurance and good doctors. I’ve had a number of family members in and out of the hospital over the past (well, forever) year and I’m glad that those of them that are still here, are still here. 
• Homesickness. When I am sad about that, it lets me know that I have a place in my heart for my parents, my brother, my sister, and my home. It makes me realize how much I appreciate my family.  A lot of the time, I miss them—but it’s not too bad. I’m living my only life; I stay busy. But days like today, while I was having a fun Thanksgiving with friends I really missed being HOME. And I cried (later of course. When I was home alone. By myself. Don’t worry. I didn’t embarrass myself THAT much. I only spit milk up all over myself. No crying.)
• The lady at work who is determined to turn me into a lady. “Ladylike, Megan!  Walk ladylike!  You are too pretty to gallop, or tromp around like a man.”  “But Nicooooole! I don’t know any other way to waaaaalk.”  “Here. Let me show you.”  And, she also gives me her discarded gently used shoes. Love her.
• I’m also grateful that she tells me not to fall into the trap of eating out frequently. She was all “You better not be falling into that trap! It’s too expensive!” That’s true mentor-like love, I tell you.
• The man at the metro who put seven dollars on my card when I forgot my wallet so I could get to work and back home.
• Friends. They make life a lot better.
• I have a job. I know many people who aren’t so blessed.
• At my job, I sit next to a window. The sunshine keeps me warm and happy.
• Internet. I can talk to, look at, chat with, type to all of my friends and family members. I keep in touch with a lot more because of it.
• My phone. Because I can text. Even if I don’t ever text you back, but it’s not that I don’t love you, it’s just that I am a HORRIBLE texter. Speaking of which, I need to go text Chase back.  Aghk.  It’s been hours. Sorry Chase!
• People move to DC. Lots of people. Because then I find people that I know.
• People will come to DC to visit me. Because it’s awesome here. And I’m awesome. And they want to see DC. And me.
• People will move to DC. And then I get to see them. Because they’re awesome.
• Having enough to eat. Every now and then someone on the street will ask me not for money, but for food. It makes me truly appreciate that I can come home each day and stuff my face. On days like today, my entire day was devoted to stuffing my face. And I’m grateful for the ability to do so.
• Milk
• Caitlyn. She is my DC family. We make food together, play together. She makes me laugh, and laughs at my stupid jokes. Around her I can be myself. She lends me running clothes, encourages me in my one treat a day health kick, and lets me cheat when I have really bad days.
• My AMAZING roommates. I come home each day to a HOME and not just an apartment. They are friendly, supportive, funny, and fun. And they cook with me. And that’s pretty great.
• The gospel. It has given me an immediate social group, and it gives me the chance to repent again and again for all of my stupid mistakes. The Savior really is what makes the difference in my life.
• The Comcast guy (Darnell) who let me install my own cable and internet devices.  Otherwise I would still be without technology. One week was enough.
• The week I spent without cable and Internet. It was good for my soul.
• A comfy bed.
• Those people who you call when you’re standing on the edge of a cliff. Who don’t make a big deal of it, but are always there for you when you need them the most.
• Youth. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, no idea where I’m going, hardly an inkling of where I’m at—and it’s okay. Because I’m young.
• Experience. I’m constantly being told “you act so much older than your age” and I chalk that up to having experience some things that make me realize that my life is not the only important thing in the world, and I’m not the center of everybody’s universe—hardly even my own.
• Boundaries.
• Dear Prudence. She assures me that other people lead lives FAR more messed up than my own.
• Couches, Tables, and other furnishings. Because living for a few weeks without them was kinda fun, but not great.
• A mini fridge to hold all of our drinks.
• Kind texts sent out of the blue.
• Phone calls from old friends
• Writing things down, and realizing how blessed I am.
• Painful experiences. I grow more from pain than I ever will from easy things. And I'm glad to have the opportunity to have grown. (Notice that's past tense. I dont' appreciate GROWING. THAT'S always painful.) 
• People who let me complain to them
• Friends who allow me to talk them into running 5ks with me.
• Susan, who wakes me up at 6 to go to the gym.
• A bank account that is growing more quickly than it is shrinking.
• Food. Because dude. That stuff tastes GREAT.
• Cooking, because it’s relaxing and awesome.
• Typings. Because if I were writing this on a piece of paper, it would be ILLEGIBLE.
• Thought Catalog. ‘Cause it makes me think.
• You. Because you are at the bottom of this list. Even if you didn’t read it all. Because anybody with this link who spent the time to scan over this list is someone I care about. Even if I don’t know you very well, if you’re my Facebook friend, if you’re a random stranger. I care about you. Maybe not deeply, because that would be ridiculous and untrue, and I don't care about you all the same. But I care about you. Because I met you once, because you're my friend, because you're a human being. Because sometimes, you're probably lonely. And because I like people. 

If this isn't love, I don't know what is. :) 

Meggers

Hot Chocolate Is My Coffee

I have a couple of options for my commute in the morning. Most of which have their ups and their downs:

Option 1

Get up approximately one hour before needing to leave. Get ready. Approximately 1 hour 15 minutes before needing to arrive at work walk to the bus stop. Get on the bus—doze off.  Arrive at metro, wake up, get off bus. Wait to get on the metro, get on metro. Doze off. Get off the metro, wonder how I miraculously managed to wake up just in time for the right stop. Say a quick “Thank you, God.” Walk to bus stop, get on another bus DO NOT DOZE OFF, continuously remind myself so that I do not miss my stop. Get off the bus. Make sad eyes at Starbucks as I walk past because I do not drink coffee. Arrive at elevator. Get on elevator. Go upstairs. Search desperately for my keycard to the office, hoping I didn’t forget it again. Find keycard buried beneath keys and GPS. Wonder why I keep my GPS in my purse. Enter Office.

Public Transportation. Busses, man. Cheap travel's legit. 

Option 1.1

All the stuff the same except: get on one metro. Stay on metro--wake up just in time for the right stop. Say a quick "Thank you, God" walk approximately one mile to workplace. Admire the scenery on the way. Considering stopping at Baked & Wired, think better of it. Arrive at elevator. Get on elevator. Go upstairs. Search desperately for my keycard to the office, hoping I didn’t forget it again. Find keycard buried beneath keys and GPS. Wonder why I keep my GPS in my purse. Enter Office.

Pretty walk in Georgetown side-streets C&O Canal

Option 2

Get up. Look at clock. Wonder why I didn’t get up the first time my alarm went off. Vow to go to bed earlier. Know that’s a vow that’s as good as broken. Roll out of bed. Decide to rock the sexy messy look  (Thanks for the rationalization advice, Susan). Choose clothes. Scramble to find keys. Consider breakfast; decide against breakfast. Scramble to find phone. Lose phone while finding keys. Find keys and phone at the same time. Exit apartment. Ride down elevator. Curse every person that chooses to ride the elevator at the same time as me this morning. Exit building. Search the parking lot for car. Use key beeper thing on my keys to find the car. Say a quick “Thank you, God.” For technology. Get in car. Use GPS to find workplace. Fight traffic to get to work. Use valet parking beneath office. Take my GPS out of my car and put it in my purse because they don't lock my car during the day. Walk to elevator. Arrive at elevator. Get on elevator. Go upstairs. Search desperately for my keycard to the office, hoping I didn’t forget it again. Find keycard buried beneath keys and GPS. Remember why I keep my GPS in my purse. Enter Office.

Option 3

Get up at a reasonable time. Get ready. Grab a bite of food. Talk to Susan a little. Ask Katherine what time she’s leaving. Hope Katherine offers a ride. Ask Katherine for a ride if she doesn’t offer (Which is rare. Because Katherine is really nice.) Ride with Katherine to work. Try to have conversation. Fail—because I don’t like morning. Try anyway, because I like Katherine and she’s nice, and giving me a ride. Get out of car at a stoplight by the Watergate. Thank roommate profusely for ride. Begin walk to Georgetown. Walk approximately one mile. Begin to wake up. Think that Georgetown is beautiful. Consider stopping at Baked & Wired, think better of it. Arrive at elevator. Get on elevator. Go upstairs. Search desperately for my keycard to the office, hoping I didn’t forget it again. Find keycard buried beneath keys and GPS. Wonder why I keep my GPS in my purse. Enter Office.

Naked Chapstick at Office. Important to starting Day.

Once I get to my office I start work for the day. That means a lot of different things right now. I’m a temporary HR assistant at the Bank of Georgetown. Sometimes I know what I’m going to do for the day; sometimes I get assignments as I go. It’s an awesome job; I really like it. But I’m not entirely sure I’m going to stay there permanently, yet.

Potential reason to stay?  This phone says my name. 

Sometimes, as I’m working, I feel my eyelids drift shut. It’s at those moments I revisit that brief moment walking past Starbucks. What can I do?  What can I do? On Tuesday, I realized what I could do—and it was magical.

I stood up from my desk and walked into the kitchen. Glancing around, I located the box of Swiss Miss. I pulled out a coffee cup, filled it with water, nuked it (I didn’t realize the coffee machine would dispense hot water until after I had murdered my poor coffee cup with the evil microwave) poured in my hot chocolate and took it back to my desk to nurse for the rest of the morning.

Best. Idea. Ever.

I hummed happily as I stirred my hot chocolate with the nifty plastic coffee stirrer, and did my work. That’s all I needed. It was a fix. It was happy. It was a ton of calories that I am completely happy to drink. And it is possibly my new addiction.

Hot Chocolate Is My Coffee—none of that Diet Coke stuff.

~Meggers